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By Carrie Lauth
Have you ever noticed how some Moms seem to be very
contented and confident in their role as Mothers, and
others seem chronically stressed and approaching
burnout? Why are some Moms unflappable and able to keep
their sense of humor, while others overreact to the
slightest stressors in their day?
I'm currently observing and interviewing these happy
Moms as I conduct research for an upcoming book. While
all Moms are different, these women usually have several
of the following traits in common.
1) They keep it simple.
I know one Mom who grocery shops every two weeks and
buys the exact same thing every time to prepare the same
menu of 14 dinners. Why does she do this? She's picked
the family's favorite meals for her menu to save herself
time and arguments at the dinner table. Anyone with kids
knows they like to eat the same things over and over!
This Mom has decided not to reinvent the wheel twice a
month. This is just one example of keeping it simple.
2) They teach their kids to be independent.
This doesn't mean they leave them to their own devices
all day. But a smart Mom knows that a 2 year old can put
a dish in the dishwasher, a 4 year old can prepare his
own peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and a 7 year old
can sweep a floor (albeit imperfectly!). Call it
"outsourcing" for Moms.
3) They drop the SuperMom complex.
Not sweating the small stuff seems to be a common trait
of happy Moms. They learn to pick their battles. Getting
buckled into a car seat? Not negotiable. Pink paisley
pants with the orange plaid shirt? Fashion creativity.
Happy Moms also realize that being an awesome Mom
doesn't mean being a perfect Mom. 'Nuff said.
4) They can often be overheard repeating the phrase
"This too shall pass".
It doesn't mean that bothersome behavior in kids should
be overlooked, for discipline is a huge time saver in
the end. It means that Moms realize that children
are...well, uncivilized creatures, and that much
uncivilized behavior will simply go away on its own as
the child matures. Smart Moms are also keenly aware of
their child's development and don't expect more of them
than they are able to give.
5) Smart Moms take care of themselves.
They don't blame the baby for their extra weight when
the baby in question is potty trained! They put emphasis
on good nutrition, avoiding too much by way of
stimulants (caffeine, sugar), they get adequate rest,
and daily exercise. They realize that you can't pour
from an empty bucket.
6) They live in the moment.
Happy Moms realize that the days are long but the years
short. It's not that they are impervious to stress, it's
that they have learned to lower their expectations and
be in the moment when things get difficult. When your
toddler is puking all over the house, this is not the
time to reorganize the hall closet. A sick day then
turns into a time to create sweet memories of hours
spent reading and cuddling on the couch.
7) They don't worry about what others think.
Whether it's the disapproving glare from the old lady in
the checkout line, the Mother in law who is convinced
you're starving the baby by breastfeeding, or the
Pediatrician whose medical advice strays into parenting
advice, happy Moms learn not to give too much weight to
the opinions of those who don't live in their home.
8) In other words, they trust their instincts.
Whether it's taking the baby to bed with them so they
can get more sleep or taking a bullied child out of
public school, smart Moms know that they are the expert
of their own babies.
9) Happy Moms have "something else"
It may be a part time home based business or a hobby
like belly dancing. These Moms know that some day their
babies will fly the coop, and they make sure they have a
passion that will give them purpose when that happens.
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